The Curse of the Jinchuuriki
by WaterLiliy
Summary: This is Gaara's past as it's never been seen before. The horror of a broken family, the pain of a terrified family. Gaara's broken world just doesn't get any better ps, sorry this was so long, i couldn't figure out how to add chapters, so its together


52

Gaara's Tale

_**The Shukaku**_

The house was not a place where such things as a birth of a new baby could be thought up, for this house looked more like a house for the gathering of a cult.

It looked normal enough on the outside, giant sand works, pillars, sealed and sturdy windows for the perpetual sand storms that rocked the village of Sauna. But for the armed ANBU agents standing outside like professional statues, it would have looked like a normal mansion. However, it was anything but that. The inside was dark and light with torches and hanging baskets of bamboo, sandal wood incense hung overhead burning their fumes with an indecent scent that would make those not used to the scent gag and beg for fresh air. The smoke of the multiple incense baskets hung like battle fumes in the air, making the dark air difficult to see through. Kenji ran across the floor and ceiling like ants, all heading to the room in the middle of the room where blood curdling screams came from.

Inside this room the Kanji was everywhere, on the walls, on the ceiling, all over the floor and covering the woman lying in the centre of the kanji, her swollen belly was covered in kanji. Her sweaty hands were clenched in her husbands; her brother had his sister's head in his lap and wiping the sweat away from her brow. The room was entirely surrounded by priests all in dark capes that cast shadows across their faces, chanting in low voices. The elderly and professional sealing ninja named Chiyo stood next to the doctor, ready to take the baby as soon as it was out.

"Its almost there." The doctor said gruffly, his face contorted with concentration.

"CURSE YOU ALL! CURSE YOU FOR MAKING ME AND MY KIN LIKE THIS!" shrieked the woman, her face beat red from pain and shrieking curses. "I SHALL CURSE YOU WITH THE VERY SAND YOU WALK ON! YOU WILL ALL PERISH WITH THE BLOOD OF MY SON!"

"Honey settle down." Her husband, the Kazekage, said, trying to hide the despair in his eyes, he knew as well as she did that as soon as the child was born and Chiyo sealed him, his wife, his beloved wife would become the human sacrifice to be able to seal the Shukaku into the newborn child. The demon spirit called Shukaku, a mad priest who had transformed into an evil Tankuiki and was sentenced for his soul to be ripped out of his body and placed in a tea kettle. His power was unimaginable! It was time for the village hidden in the sand to get some respect in the ninja world!

"I PLACE THIS CURSE UPON MY CHILD! THE SAND WILL BE HIS, IT WILL FOREVER PROTECT HIM, AND HE WILL FOREVER BE CONDEMNED TO KILL ALL BUT HIMSELF! HE WILL LOVE ONLY HIMSELF, TRUST ONLY HIMSELF AND CARE ONLY FOR HIMSELF!" The mad woman screeched to the room at large. A glow appeared from the inside of her stomach, engulfing it as she screamed again. Yashamaru, her brother, barely holding back tears of fury and grievance for his sister kissed her forehead and stroked her cheek.

Suddenly cries and the sound of baby screams exploded into the air as the doctor held up a baby boy with small tufts of brown hair sticking out of his otherwise bald head. The doctor wiped the baby off and handed him to the woman, who grabbed him as she sat up and glared down at her newborn son, her eyes brimming with furious tears. The Kazekage leaned over and stroked his son's soft cheek. The baby was a perfect mix of his wife and him, a rounded head like her, almond shaped green eyes like his own, and it seemed that the bottom of his face was the exact copy of his wife, though he could already tell that the boy's hair would be like his own. The Kazekage's hand shook, his heart racing, knowing what would come next.

"This is what I am to die for…" The woman's voice shook as her gripped tightened around the baby's bare body. "This tiny, insignificant thing?" But she pressed her lips to the boy's forehead. "Let my curse live on in you my son…"

Chiyo took the baby from his mother, the baby started to bawl again as Chiyo painted a seal on the boy's forehead and on his stomach. Then Chiyo placed the baby in a black well decorated tea pot and shut the lid quickly. She rushed over and placed the kettle in a ring of kanji and candles. The kettle shook and rattled, the baby started to scream even louder.

"SHUKAKU, PLEASE TAKE THIS BOY AS YOUR VESSEL!" Chiyo said in a booming voice the priests all around the room chanted louder than ever while making the seals for Tiger, Dog, Boar and Monkey in quick succession. "TAKE UP THIS WOMAN AS YOUR SACRIFICE!" Suddenly the floor began to rattle and the candles began to flicker and spin. Chiyo kept at the seals as the doctor backed into the far wall, utterly terrified at the evil deed done here. The Kazekage and his wife were embracing for what was to be the last time; Yashamaru's head was bent in a silent prayer. The woman began to shake and at last her eyes went cold and the light faded from them.

"His…name…is to be…." She said with her last dying breath, her husband clutched her, clinging to her every word, his eyes saddened beyond extent. "Gaara….Sabaku no Gaara…" And then she was gone. Her husband sobbed, clinging to her and shaking hysterically.

A roar ripped apart the scene, it was a roar of triumph and vicious rage all at the same time, and this was followed by a child's scream. Then silence, utter silence for a whole five minutes.

Chiyo carefully lifted the lid on the kettle and pulled out the newborn child, she lay him on yet another kanji circle and made the seals for Bird, Monkey, Dog, Dragon and Tiger before placing her hand down on his stomach.

"SEAL!" the elderly woman roared. The baby screamed and sand burst through the window to swirl all around him. The priests slapped their hands together and placed them on the ground, the room glowed a sandy yellow colour before the air became hazy once more. More silence went through the room. The sealing ninja picked up the baby and checked his pulse carefully. He was alive, his heart was racing, but he was quite alive. Chiyo swathed the baby up and went over to hand him to his father. The Kazekage seemed inept to do anything but sit there and shake, holding his dead wife tightly in his arms.

"Kazekage-sama…" Chiyo whispered, but Yashamaru shook his head and stood up and held his hands out to take his nephew from Chiyo, who looked pale and exhausted. Yashamaru himself was quivering and tears spilled out of his own eyes. The priests all bowed, knowing their work was done, they walked out of the room with their heads hung their hooded heads respectfully.

"I'll take him Chiyo-baa-sama." Yashamaru said shakily, holding out his hands to take the little boy. Chiyo nodded and handed over the baby to his uncle. Yashamaru looked down at the bundle in his arms, his eyes narrowed. The baby had three new features that he had not seen when he had been born. The tufts of brown hair were gone, and in their place were tufts of blood red hair, his eyes were rimmed with thick dark lines, almost like a tanuki, and finally his eyes were wide open and terrified. Yashamaru looked up at Chiyo, who was sitting down panting. He was about to ask what the heck was wrong with him when he remembered that be boy had just had a demon tanuki shoved inside of his small body, possibly the two were having a difficult time on deciding which one was which.

"What will happen to the baby?" Yashamaru asked Chiyo, his face upset as he looked down at his nephew. Chiyo looked up and frowned.

"I've ensured at least that the Shukaku can not take over the boy completely, he needs to have some obedience! And he needs to be a human in order to take missions seriously." Chiyo said. "But the demon is stubborn, it will try to escape, it will try to get out anyway it can. I'm good, but not that good! Don't ever let him fall asleep. When he falls asleep after today the ichibi will come out and rip pieces of his personality away until the Shukaku has the body to itself."

"A baby without sleep?" Yashamaru said stunned, looking at Chiyo's old, weathered face with confused disbelief in his own violet eyes. "Is that possible?" Chiyo shrugged.

"If you want the kid to become completely consumed by evil, then go ahead and put him to sleep."

Yashamaru sighed, then looked at his dead sister and felt as if a clamp had been settled over his heart and stomach.

Chiyo looked at him in an odd way. "The demon won't let the child die, because if his host dies then he too will die as well. He also will find ways of rejuvenating the boy so that he won't be completely useless to the Shukaku. So the boy will have trouble staying awake, but he won't be killed from exhaustion."

Yashamaru nodded, not sure if he was okay with that news or not, he just had to accept it.

Yashamaru soon left to head back to the Kazekage's mansion. He needed to go home and think, also to take care of the Kazekage's other children. There were two others after all. The oldest one was four, her name was Temari, and the second was a two year old boy named Kankuro.

As soon as Yashamaru walked through the door, he was almost bowled over by a speeding brown haired toddler who threw his arms around Yashamaru's left leg. Yashamaru fought for balance as another blonde toddler rushed over and threw her arms around Yashamaru's other leg

"Yashamaru-ojisan!" Temari bellowed her eyes widened when she saw the bundle in her uncle's arms, her face lit up and her face cracked into a glittering smile. "Is that our new sister Yashamaru-ojisan? Is it? Is it?"

Kankuro (being only two) let out a full throated laugh and exclaimed excitedly that he'd missed Yashamaru. Yashamaru smiled and forced a laugh out before kneeling down to their height to show the children their new brother. They both gasped in excitement. Then Temari suddenly scowled and put her tiny fists onto her hips.

"That's not a sister, that's a brother!" She pointed out angrily, her face set in a pout. Kankuro stared at his little brother's face and burst out laughing.

"A new brother! A new brother!" Kankuro exclaimed excitedly. Yashamaru laughed softly and looked up as a woman entered the room. She had long dark brown hair and dazzling green eyes that pierced and held the gaze of anyone who looked into them. Her name was Rena; she was the Kazekage's older sister who had agreed to take the task with Yashamaru of being the Kazekage's caretaker.

Rena took one look at Yashamaru's pain stricken face and understood at once. She walked over to him and lifted the baby from his arms. He looked up at her with grateful eyes. She looked down at the baby and frowned.

"So they went through with it then?" Rena asked softly as Kankuro and Temari ran around their legs singing 'we got a new brother, we got a new brother'. Yashamaru nodded, looking down. Rena gazed at the baby boy in her arms, his eyes were lined with thick smudges of black, but they were wide open and terrified still. His hair was blood red. "He has my eyes though…" She said quietly, seeing past the black smudges. "And your nose…his father's hair and his mothers face." Yashamaru hung his head, trying to disguise the tears that ran down his cheeks.

Temari stopped running to look up at her uncle's sad face, her own face was puzzled, and she had never seen her uncle look so sad. Kankuro, having not seen her stop, ran right into her knocking her sideways off her feet. The two siblings wrestled there for a moment with Temari as the quick victor. She sat on her little brother's back with the air of a victorious king. Yashamaru laughed tacitly. Rena sighed and turned to go put the baby in his new room.

"Well off to bed with you." Rena announced to the baby. "You've had a busy day being born and all."

"Wait!" Yashamaru exclaimed so suddenly that Temari jumped in surprise and tumbled backwards off of Kankuro, who quickly jumped onto Temari and yelled in triumph.

Rena turned around blinking. "What?"

"He can't go to bed." Yashamaru explained, "Every time he goes to sleep, the Shukaku will eat away at his personality until he becomes an empty vessel for it." Rena raised her eyebrows and looked at the babe in her arms. His eyes still wide with horror, he blinked and looked up at his aunty with confusion.

"But he's just a newborn! Babies need sleep to grow up!" Rena argued, "He'll die if he doesn't sleep."

"He won't die, the Shukaku won't allow it."

"That's absurd, I'm putting him to bed unless the Kazekage himself says different." Rena turned and walked down the hallway.

"No stop! Seriously Rena-chan, don't!" Yashamaru held up a hand to stop his partner, but she only raised a hand and carried him off to his new room.

"If he goes nutty, it'll be my fault." Rena said simply. The woman suddenly paused and turned around looking amused. "Yashamaru-kun, you haven't even told me the kid's name!"

Yashamaru's eyes went cold again.

"…Sabaku no Gaara, his name is Gaara." Yashamaru told her. Rena's eyebrows furrowed, her lips parted slightly in an 'O' shape and she looked down at the babe in her arms.

"Eh? That's a funny name!" Temari exclaimed tugging on Yashamaru's sleeve, "Yashamaru, when will I be able to play with my brother?" She demanded in huffy tones. "Kankuro is no fun to play with cause all he does is play with his dollies!"

"Well you'll have to wait a while Temari-sama," Yashamaru told her as Rena gestured to him to come with her. He knew what she wanted him to do… explain. Yashamaru bent over to look at Temari squarely in the face. "Temari, can you look after Kankuro for a minute or two? I need to help your Aunty take care of your new brother." Temari gave Yashamaru a pout as sour as curdled milk. "You'll be in charge of him, how about that? Only for a few minutes though." Temari brightened at that and immeedeantly began ordering Kankuro to make a castle out of the wooden blocks in a basket next to a chair. Yashamaru smiled and followed Rena into the new baby's room.

It was a soft green colour with a cradle on one side of the room, shelves on the far side, a sitting chair with a basket of story books to one side, and a box full of toys at the end of the changing table. Rena was standing beside the changing table, she'd placed the baby on the table, while searched its drawers for a pair of pajamas.

"They named him Sabaku no Gaara?" Rena demanded, unwrapped the blanket on the baby to put him in some blue cotton pajamas, her face grim.

"Yes."

"Do you know what that means?"

"…No"

"They named their son Demon of the Desert."

"Oh…"

"The child cannot escape his fate no matter where he goes! Didn't they even want to give him a chance to get along in society?"

"He's Sauna's tool, not a person, he wasn't meant to be a complete human."

"Do you see a Demon in front of you?" Rena demanded holding Gaara up to Yashamaru's face. The baby in blue pajama's kicked slightly, and made cooing noises as she held him up for Yashamaru's inspection. "Does he?" Yashamaru ground his teeth; the baby was cute…except for those ringed eyes that betrayed the terror the small baby felt.

"No." Yashamaru mumbled, looking away shame faced and sullen. He couldn't admit to her that he hated the child to the bottom of his heart.

Rena put Gaara back on the changing table with an indignant huff.

"Who's the moron who named the child?" She demanded viciously, before picking Gaara up and setting him down in the crib with a small blanket, she turned off the lights and walked out of the door, towing Yashamaru in her wake.

"My sister, she gave him that name before she…she died." Rena stopped and spun around.

"What? She…she died…" Rena demanded her eyes wide. Yashamaru nodded, his fists clenched.

"She was the sacrifice to seal the Shukaku."

"N-no way!" Rena took a step back in horror, her hands shook in horror. Yashamaru nodded sadly.

"No Kankuro, not like that! Make it taller!" Temari's bossy voice could be heard from the play room.

Suddenly the whole house was filled with wails from a terrified baby, Yashamaru and Rena spun around to look at Gaara's bedroom door. Sand whisked past their feet and slid like snakes under the crack of the door. There was a smashing noise and Temari screamed, Kankuro cried out. Rena ran to Temari and Kankuro who were huddled under a table. The main window had been smashed clean out of its frame; the fragments of glass were strewn across the room. A wave of sand smashed into Rena as she came around the corner, knocking her clean off of her feet and into the wall. Temari screamed again.

Rena staggered upright and ran to her niece and nephew, grabbing them both in strong arms and carrying them into the basement where the cellar was.

"What about Yashamaru-ojisan?" Kankuro wailed looking over his small shoulder at the enormous staircase that led back up stairs.

"And our new brother! We can't leave him!" Temari exclaimed beating at Rena's arms, Rena barely felt it, nor did she even hear the two children's complaints. Her only worry was if what Yashamaru had said was true, and if Gaara had actually fallen asleep.

Yashamaru lay on the floor, blood trickling from a cut on his cheek. He'd shut the door behind him when he'd come in, but that hadn't stopped the sand from breaking the entry down to see what had happened to its master. The whole door had been blown apart and it had smashed into Yashamaru, leaving a nasty bump on the back of his head, and a deep gouge in his cheek.

Gaara's uncle staggered to his feet as Gaara's screeches got worse and worse, the poor babe was confused and terrified, he didn't understand why the sand was whizzing around him in hordes and why on earth it seemed to be trying to destroy everything. Yashamaru dashed over to the crib, dodging flying books that the sand had thrown, he reached into the crib and grabbed onto Gaara and clung to him tightly. Bouncing him up and down in his arms, trying to settle down the day old baby. The sand quivered and fell to the ground with a soft hiss as Gaara calmed down.

Yashamaru let out a sigh. That was close. But his nerves were far from being calmed. This was insane! If Gaara was able to use sand to this extent when he was only a day old, what would happen when he was older? He could kill someone if he didn't learn to control himself properly! Yashamaru decided that sleep was not what the child needed.

This would be a very hard baby to take care of …



The Kazekage did not return for a few days, he came home late one night looking exhausted and furious. He did not even so much as look at Yashamaru or Rena when he came home. He walked straight to his study and slammed the door shut behind him. Rena and Yashamaru both had deep circles under their eyes; they took it in turns to stay up with Gaara every night (Rena would stay up the first night, Yashamaru the second and so on and so forth), Gaara was also very tired, he would scream and wail everyday, as he was so scared, so uncomfortable and so tired that it was a miracle that the babe didn't just faint from exhaustion, or at the very least lose his voice.

"Make him stop Rena-obasan!" Kankuro cried sticking his finger puppets in his ears and screwing up his face, his small finger puppets lay abandoned on the soft grey rug. Temari sat with her fingers in her ears as well, she looked angry.

"Why's my brother so annoying and loud?" Temari shouted over Gaara's renewed wails; Rena bounced the babe on her chest trying to calm the poor thing down. Rena herself had small cotton balls stuffed in her own ears; it was unbearable to listen to him for so long.

"Temari, babies always cry when they're new." Yashamaru told the Kazekage's older children for the twentieth time. He himself had been throwing a ball to Temari, but had paused when Temari had covered her ears. "And especially your brother because he can't sleep properly. So he's very tired."

"Eh?" Kankuro groaned and got up to run to his room and shut the door heavily behind him. Rena groaned, the dark smudges under her eyes becoming uglier as she frowned at Gaara who's face was still contorted with terror and tears. She glared at Yashamaru who shrugged sympathetically. Temari groaned again before running after Kankuro to play with her other brother instead.

"What are we going to do about this Yashamaru?" Rena demanded. "He's tired and he's scared! We can't put him to bed and we can't do anything about his fears!" She growled, but Yashamaru, struck by a sudden inspiring thought leapt to his feet and dashed to the kitchen. "Hey! Where are you going when I'm ranting?"

Yashamaru rummaged through the cupboards before grasping a jar of golden honey. He ran back to Rena and stuck his fore finger in the honey up to the second knuckle and placed it onto Gaara's tongue that was clearly exposed from all the crying he had been doing. Gaara stopped crying immeedeantly and looked surprised before clamping his small gummy mouth around Yashamaru's honeyed finger. His tiny hands closed around Yashamaru's finger as he sucked the honey clean off his finger. Gaara looked up at Yashamaru with teary, thankful eyes that glistened as he looked up at his uncle.

Rena grinned and passed Gaara to Yashamaru and went to fetch a honey stirring stick to occupy Gaara. Rena and Yashamaru sighed and fell back against the chairs, smiling at each other. That would keep their little nephew quiet for a while! Temari and Kankuro finally came out of Kankuro's room to play with their baby brother. Kankuro showed Gaara the finger puppets and Temari tried to teach the new born how to play patty cake. Neither of which really made Gaara happy, but it did occupy him. That was enough for Yashamaru to go and cook dinner and check up on the Kazekage.

Yashamaru knocked on the Kazekage's door holding a tray of green tea and two rice balls. Yashamaru heard a nasty ripping noise.

"Kazekage-sama?" Yashamaru said.

"Come in." A gruff voice answered softly. Yashamaru gulped and opened the door slightly to let himself in. The office was dark, he'd shut the curtains and there was only one oil lamp lit. Books, scrap paper, ink and pens scattered the floor, it was a real mess. The Kazekage sat slumped at his desk, his face hidden by his hat. Yashamaru remembered himself and bowed low. The Kazekage waved a hand bitterly. Yashamaru walked over and put the tray of food on the Kazekage's desk.

"Dinner will be in an hour Kazekage-sama," Yashamaru informed him, "If you feel up to joining us-" the Kazekage grabbed hold of Yashamaru's arm, Yashamaru blinked.

"Where is he?" The Kazekage demanded. Yashamaru frowned. "Gaara, where is he? I want to see him, bring him here right away!" Yashamaru frowned, getting a bad feeling, but nodded anyways.

"Yes sir, I will get him right away." Yashamaru said obediently.

Yashamaru left and put the tray on the counter of the kitchen. He walked over to Rena who was half asleep in her chair, Gaara lying in his many pillows, looking up at Kankuro's finger puppets with blinking eyes, burbling happily at the different colours of puppets. Yashamaru bent down and picked up Gaara, Kankuro complained, but Yashamaru assured him that he'd return him quick enough. Kankuro complained more until Temari ordered him to make her another castle. Then he was quickly busy again.

Yashamaru looked down at Gaara, who looked up at him with confused eyes, the honey stick twitching up and down as he sucked hard on it. Sensing Yashamaru's unease, Gaara struggled slightly in his hold.

"Don't worry Gaara-sama." Yashamaru reassured Gaara, as much as himself. "I won't let my sister's precious child be in any danger." Yashamaru knocked on the Kazekage's study door. The Kazekage told them to enter, Yashamaru entered, clutching Gaara tightly to his chest.

The Kazekage had lit one more lamp, right near his face, this threw his face into deep impression, every line, every scar and every mark was highlighted in the intense light. The Kazekage motioned for Yashamaru to come closer and held out his hands for his son. Yashamaru's stomach twisted in knots as he handed over his nephew to his brother in law. It felt very odd to be so terrified of the man who had made his sister so happy. But at this moment, he knew that nothing good would come of this meeting and this was not the same man who had made his sister happy.

Yashamaru handed over Gaara against his better judgment, Gaara wriggled as he was passed to this unknown man; the Kazekage held Gaara up to the light, his eyes had gone hard.

"He has demon eyes Yashamaru," The Kazekage informed Yashamaru softly, Yashamaru shook his head.

"No, you see I can see my sister's eyes there sir." Yashamaru said giving a fake smile.

"No…her eyes were beautiful, his are evil!" He turned Gaara around so that he faced his father, his head lolled backwards and he gave a burble threw the honey stick that sounded like nervous laughter. "What is this?" The Kazekage demanded pulling the stick of honey out from between Gaara's lips. Gaara made some reproachful noises and began to reach out for his honey stick as the Kazekage looked at it.

"It's the only thing that will settle him down sir." Yashamaru explained sadly. "He's very scared and tired you know."

"I see…" The Kazekage stuck it haphazardly back into Gaara's mouth as tears began to form in his son's eyes. "Stupid child…"

"Kazekage-sama, he is but a new born. We cannot expect any kind of discipline from one so newly from the womb!" Yashamaru said tentatively.

"Really? But what if he was to kill us in our sleep?" The Kazekage demanded his grip tightened under Gaara's armpits, Gaara's incoherent burbles became louder. "We should kill him first before he kills anyone else!" He set Gaara on his desk and withdrew a kunai from his sleeve!

"Kazekage-sama, no!" Yashamaru dived forwards to try to save his nephew but stopped in absolute wonder. The kunai had gone down, but it had not gotten even a foot from the babe. A huge sand barrier had erupted around the child, stopping the Kazekage's attempts to kill his youngest son. Gaara started crying and squirming around as the surprised Kazekage stabbed again and again, and was thwarted again and again by the sand.

"What the heck?" Yashamaru whispered, but remembered his place and dashed forwards to grab Gaara and turn his back on the Kazekage as a knife was hurled at him. Again, the sand stopped any sort of attack that came a foot from Gaara. The Kazekage howled with furry and punched Yashamaru in the side of the face, sending him sprawling across the floor on his back. Gaara screeched, still curled in his uncle's arms, terrified by what was happening. Yashamaru looked up, his cheek was throbbing and he knew that there would be an ugly mark to show for it later on.

"Kazekage-sama, please stop!" Yashamaru begged over the continued wails of the child in his arms, Yashamaru continued to back up against the wall as the Kazekage came towards him with his kunai in his hand, and a horrible look in his eyes. "He's your son! Please be reasonable, it's not his fault! Please Kazekage-sama! For my sister, don't hurt him, he's her son too!"

"She hated him as much as I do!"

"No Kazekage-sama, he's her treasured child! Please don't!" the Kazekage froze and looked at his sobbing son. "If you won't keep him for her then please, the village needs him! He will be the most valuable weapon that Sauna will ever get! We need him as a ninja nation! You of all people know that!" That got his attention; he dropped his kunai and sank to his knees. The door banged open behind Yashamaru's head, Rena, Temari and Kankuro were all standing in the door way. Temari ran over and grabbed Gaara out of Yashamaru's arms, Kankuro wrapped his small arms around Yashamaru as Rena dashed over to the Kazekage and helped him to his feet. He was sobbing again.

"He killed my beloved wife!" The Kazekage sobbed, Rena shook her head.

"No, the Shukaku did, not your son."

"They are the same! We must rid the world of such evil!"

Rena looked around at Yashamaru, signaling him to get Temari and Kankuro and leave. Yashamaru struggled to his feet, he grabbed Kankuro's hand and led him and Temari out of the room, closing the door behind him softly as Rena attempted to calm her younger brother.

The children played quietly, Gaara was shaking, but he did not cry as Yashamaru fed him his bottle. Temari and Kankuro knew there was something wrong, and they knew that everything weird that had had happened since Gaara had come home had something to do with their new brother.

"Yashamaru-ojisan, why is daddy so sad?" Temari asked looking up at Yashamaru's vacant eyes and swollen cheek. Yashamaru looked down at the two siblings. Kankuro stood up and grabbed onto Yashamaru's knee, he looked very distressed.

"I want my mama…" Kankuro mumbled, small tears forming in his eyes. Yashamaru's jaw tightened. "Where's mama Yashamaru-ojisan?"

"She…" Yashamaru forced through a lump in his throat, he could not speak properly. "She…she went away."

Kankuro and Temari looked up at Yashamaru in confusion.

"When will she be back?" Temari asked confused, Yashamaru closed his eyes and fought for control over himself. Temari and Kankuro, even at their young age knew that there was something very wrong.

"She's not coming back Temari-chan. She…She died." Yashamaru said quietly, his voice trembling. Temari's eyes widened in shock and disbelief. Kankuro was too young to understand, but he saw his older sister's distress and began to cry. Temari too started to bawl. Gaara, who had been quiet for the conversation, decided that he should cry too. Milk spilled out of the corners of his mouth as he exploded into a storm of tears.

"Mama!" They both sobbed. Yashamaru felt something on his face and realized that he too was crying, as much for his own sorrow as his sister's children.

That night, nobody ate anything, except for Gaara, who drank a whopping two bottles before he was satisfied. He was only a baby, he didn't understand. Temari sat glassy eyed in her chair, sniffing. Kankuro too sat there looking glum, until he finally got too hungry and decided to ignore his spoon; he smacked his face right into his bowl of soup and slurped from there. Rena was sitting there, trying to cheer up Temari who refused to eat anything. Yashamaru sighed, this wasn't going well. Gaara was sitting in his high chair and blinking furiously, as though he had something large in his eyes, Yashamaru noticed something, he had started rubbing his eyes; with children, this indicated that he was about to fall asleep, or was getting very tired.

Not knowing what else to do, Yashamaru grabbed his glass of cold water and threw it all over baby Gaara. Gaara gasped and gaped, mouth wide open before he took a deep breath and screeched his little lungs out. Rena swore, Temari stared, and Kankuro clapped his hands and laughed.

"What was that for?" Rena exclaimed rushing over to Gaara and pulling him out of his sopping wet chair.

"He was about to fall asleep!" Yashamaru exclaimed, unable to believe what he had just done.

"He's a baby! You can't just throw water all over him!"

"I panicked ok?"

"No kidding!"

"Just take him outside and dry him off!"

"That's not the point!"

"WAAAAAH!" Gaara wailed as if trying to get his caretakers to remember that he was the baby in distress here! Rena groaned and pulled the baby out of his chair and went into his room to take off the sopping clothes and dry him off a bit.

Yashamaru sank in his chair and put his head in his hands. Kankuro giggled.

"Rena-obasan said a bad word!" Kankuro laughed. Temari put her hands over her mouth and cuffed Kankuro over the head.

"Don't you tattle tale on Rena-obasan!" Temari cautioned.

"It's true though!" That earned him yet another cuff over the head.

Yashamaru sighed. Would he live through these years with his niece and nephew? Some how he doubted it…

_**The Wounded Heart**_

"Temari-oneesan, pass the rice please." Kankuro mumbled impatiently. Temari reached out in front of her to grab the rice and pass it to her younger brother.

"That's better." Rena said smiling at Kankuro, whom of course, rolled his eyes. "You're eight now, we'll have none of that." Kankuro stuck his dumpling in his mouth so he couldn't argue, Temari smiled mischievously at him from behind their caretaker's back. Kankuro made a face, earning him a very dirty look from the Kazekage. Kankuro shrunk under his father's gaze. Temari also retained a stony silence as she ate steadily through a bowl of rice and two helpings of vegetables. Rena looked at the absent looking Yashamaru; he had been staring into space wondering how long he would last tonight before Rena punched him in the arm.

"Look alive, you're on duty tonight." Rena scolded her brother in-law, Yashamaru sighed apologetically before looking at the boy sitting next to him.

A six year old Gaara sat on the cushion beside Yashamaru, his eyes were empty for an onslaught of relentless hate, his tired visage was lined with fatigue around the eyes and his arms never strayed far from his teddy, which was worn and battered looking now after many years of use. Gaara sat, not touching his food, instead twirling his chopsticks in his fingers; he only looked around the room, glaring at all of them in turn. Yashamaru made a tired face before bending over slightly to take up Gaara's chopsticks and pick up a small slice of pickled eggplant and holding it out in front of Gaara's mouth. The little boy only glared at it as though it were trying to murder him.

"Here," Yashamaru said, "you need the food. It's good for you and it's really yummy."

"I'm not hungry." Gaara said bluntly. Yashamaru bit his lip to keep from groaning.

"You haven't eaten much all day Gaara-sama. You must eat or else you'll get sick."

"I don't get sick."

"Please just eat it?"

"I don't like eggplant."

"Please Gaara-sama. Just try it?"

Gaara looked up at Yashamaru as though he would much like to slap him, but instead, the young boy, never taking his eyes off his uncle, wrapped his lips around the eggplant and pulled them out of its grasp. He chewed, as though he thought every bite would scorch his lips. Yashamaru smiled in a tired way at the young boy.

"There now that wasn't hard, and it was tasty wasn't it?" Yashamaru told Gaara, who continued to glare up at him. Yashamaru could only smile down at the younger boy, but Gaara was no fool. His eyes fell to stare at the wooden chopsticks in Yashamaru's hand when he realized that his uncle was merely wearing a mask to disguise the angry, exhausted looks on his face. Gaara noticed to, with a twinge of anger and guilt, that the hand that Yashamaru had used to feed him was also covered by a white bandage.

"_Gaara-sama please calm down!" _ Gaara could still see his uncle standing in front of the fallen girl, shielding her from the sand that Gaara had subconsciously used to drag back her and her friends after they had ran away from him. He had protected her from the sand that would have most likely killed her, and in return Yashamaru had received deep gashes in his forearms and forehead. Gaara's eyes fell as he remembered the look on his uncle's face as he had defended the girl. Pure fear.

Gaara's eyes widened as he heard it. The soft hissing noise and then the irresistible voice in his head. The young boy covered his ears and squeezed his eyes shut as his head rang with the Shukaku's voice.

"_**Look at that fake smile, that fake attitude." **_The Shukaku whispered, forcing Gaara's eyes open and up to stare at Yashamaru's terrified face. Yashamaru now well aquainted with Gaara's frequent Shukaku attacks, saw Gaara's pupils dilating repeatedly and knew exactly what was happening. _**"Now look, he's scared of you! Can you not see it? He's petrified! You would just do better to give into me and let me take care of everything, wouldn't you?" **_Gaara clutched the sides of his head and screwed up his face against the noise. Someone reached out and touched Gaara, but the boy merely stood up, still clutching his teddy bear, and walked right out of the room, leaving his dinner plate unwashed and unkempt, on the table.

"Gaara come back here now!" The Kazekage's voice boomed, Gaara stopped, sweat falling down his forehead, his terror mounting. The Shukaku was screaming at him, telling him to give in, he desperately needed to be alone! "Gaara!" Gaara returned to his father in the hope of being able to rip out his father's insides. Gaara was in stabbing distance from his father now, but his father, knowing his son too well, grabbed Gaara's arms and held them firmly at his sides. "I am going out tonight on boarder patrol, remember? And Rena is coming with me. Temari and Kankuro are out running errands for the academy. If you hurt or do anything to Yashamaru, I swear I will kill you somehow some way." The Kazekage threatened, the Shukaku laughed inside of Gaara, Gaara himself let the Shukaku use his lips to sneer wickedly at his father. The Kazekage glared at Gaara before pulling up a hand to slap his youngest son across the face, Gaara did not so much as flinch, or even glace at the hand coming towards his face. He knew the sand would leap up to defend him. And so it did. The Kazekage's hand came in contact with sand but not Gaara's pale face.

"Hey you don't have to do that!" Kankuro snapped from behind his father, the Kazekage spun and backhanded Kankuro across the face.

"Do not contradict me!" Snarled the Kazekage, "you insolent disgrace to the family!" Kankuro's eyes burned with shamed and angry tears at his father. "What did you score last time on your test? Seventy three? I expect better from my children! You silly baby of a boy a Shinobi is supposed to hold back his feelings! I should let Rena give you over to the real Ninja makers. They'd know how to deal with your softness!" Gaara saw the red hand print that had been bruised into Kankuro's face from his father's hand, he saw the pain in his brother's eyes.

Pain.

What was it like to feel pain? The question hit Gaara like a lightning bolt, he knew, from what he had heard that it wasn't anything pleasant and that it made it hard to think… Perhaps Gaara too, despite the sand shield, was injured too… his chest often confused his thoughts with some sort of irresistible, heavy pressure as though he were wearing a particularly heavy sand shield. Gaara pulled out of his father's hold, and giving into the anger and bloodlust, drove his small fist into his father's distracted cheek. Temari shrieked, Kankuro swore, Rena cried out in surprise and Yashamaru leapt to action, grabbing Gaara's upper arms and lifting the struggling child off the ground. Gaara kicked and screamed.

"LET ME TASTE YOUR BLOOD!!! I WANT YOU DEAD; I WANT YOU SKEWERED ON THE MANSION TOWER! I WANT TO TASTE YOUR BLOOD!!!" Gaara cried in fury at his father, whom got up and went in to strangle Gaara, his face furious and embarrassed that he had let himself be hit. Yet Yashamaru hoisted Gaara higher into a position where the younger boy's body was completely covered from the father, as Rena leapt to her feet and grabbed the Kazekage by the arms as well. Kankuro too attempted to get up to help, but Temari, who had the sense and the tact to know when was a good time to act or not, grabbed her little brother's black shirt and pulled him down beside her, wrapping her arms around the struggling boy.

The whole family struggled like that for a good ten minutes until Gaara finally snapped and grabbed his head and screamed attempting to drown out the Shukaku's taunts, jeers and orders. With this reaction, the boy stopped attempting to struggle and in turn, became as stiff as aboard, his legs curled up into the fetus position, his arms over his head, clawing at his scalp, pulling out tufts of crimson hair.

"_**Kill them all Gaara, you know you want to! Rip open Kankuro's rib cage, bite open Temari's throat! Split Yashamaru in half and cut off Rena's head! But best of all, use my hand to plunge into you father's chest, rip out his heart and then stick his head on the roof! And after you're done, let me lick up the blood, after all I'm so thirsty…" **_Shukaku yelled at Gaara, Gaara wanted to obey the demon's suggestions, but he couldn't, he wouldn't! The terrible images flashed through Gaara's mind, of him ripping open his brother and sister, letting himself slice through his caretakers and mount his father's head on the roof.

"NOOOOOOO!" Gaara howled one last time before collapsing into limp form, his head full of a buzzing white noise as the Shukaku pulled back, enjoying the effect his direct infiltration had on the young boy's mind. The fight left Gaara totally drained. He felt as though his entire body folded like a wet towel over Yashamaru's arms. He was aware only of the voices now, a small line of saliva trailed from his lips as his jaw lazed open and he fell into a stupor of half consciousness.

"Damn that kid!" Screamed the Kazekage's voice, full of vicious hatred. "Let me knock him senseless right now!"

"Kazekage-sama, please no! He's your son!" Yashamaru's voice pleaded with his master.

"That _thing_ is no son of mine!" the Kazekage snarled. "The only thing he's able to do is killing!"

"Kazekage-sama!"

"Otou-san!" Temari's voice exclaimed through the din of shouting. "Please," and then Gaara heard it, something he'd never thought to hear from his siblings. A sniffle, it was Kankuro, he was crying. "Not in front of Kankuro!" Temari's voice pleaded.

There was a silence as her words hit him with a pang. Gaara felt his chest feel as though someone was squeezing it hard, like his father some times squeezed his arms, it was a vice like grip, but this one wouldn't relinquish. He also felt Yashamaru straighten and turn around, Gaara's limp body tucked under his arm. Gaara caught a glimpse of his siblings from when his head lolled around.

Temari was sitting against the wall, holding a trembling Kankuro around the waist, holding him against her, protecting him from the scene. The little girl's eyes were sad and full of fierce determination to protect her brother from harm. When their eyes met, Gaara saw the fear and anger that she had been channeling to her father hit Gaara squarely in the eyes. It hit his chest and he felt the vice like grip continue to squeeze harder. His siblings were terrified of him.

His father shrugged off Rena, straightened his jacket with a tug forward on the front collar and looked directly at Yashamaru. His eyes still full of anger.

"Will you be ok alone with that monster?" the Kazekage asked quietly. Gaara felt his heart being continually restricted, and suddenly there was so much pressure on his heart that he let out a slow shuddering gasp, trying to relieve the pressure on his chest. Yashamaru's arm tightened around Gaara's abdomen, as though to remind the young one that he was there and he wouldn't leave. However the Kazekage's reaction was a slight bit different, he looked at Gaara with something of a mix between vicious anger and pure loathing.

"I'll be fine." Yashamaru assured his master. The Kazekage spat at Gaara before kicking Temari into standing up and following them.

"Get up you lazy wench!" He bellowed at his daughter as she twisted to cover Kankuro with her back so that the man's boot connected with her lower back rather than Kankuro's side. She hissed in pain and Rena bent over to help them up.

The door slammed shut behind the party as they left.

Yashamaru sighed as the clock on the wall ticked slowly and the fan whirred above them. He slowly walked to the dojo, Gaara still limply swaying under Yashamaru's arms. Once there, Yashamaru slowly kneeled and set Gaara down on the ground. The small boy's chest heaved as he attempted to regain his proper senses. Yashamaru touched the young boy's stomach, attempting to connect with Gaara, whose eyes were so clouded by hate and a fierce desire to kill. Yashamaru's eyes however, were soft as he rubbed Gaara's stomach slowly, he couldn't imagine growing up in the environment that he was growing up in.

Gaara seemed not to even notice Yashamaru's touch because instead, his own hand reached up and grasped the place where his heart was, clenching it hard so that the material of his shirt crinkled slowly under his fingers as he squeezed his chest, his eyes clouded, with what Yashamaru realized was, genuine pain.

"Gaara-sama, why don't I go and make us some tea ok?" Yashamaru said softly to his charge. Gaara seemed not to notice his uncle's offer, but Yashamaru smiled anyways and got up to leave.

After a few moments Gaara gathered his senses enough to sit up. Tears clouded his eyes. And he began to cry. He cried because of the looks his family gave him, he cried because of the way his father referred to him as _it, thing _and _monster, _he cried because of the horrible sensation in his chest, and he cried because of the mocking voice in his head…

Gaara cried for what seemed ages, but paused when he looked up to wipe his nose. A picture was on the alter at the front of the room, it was a picture of his mother, her short blonde hair cut at the chin, and her kind blue eyes looking out at him from behind the glass, beckoning him towards her. Gaara stood up, wiping his dripping eyes and nose on his sleeve. Gaara looked at the picture, at the only woman who had ever looked at him with genuine kindness.

"Why did I kill you?" Gaara whispered to the picture as though she could hear him. "Did you do something wrong? Did you hate me too?" Something glinted behind the picture frame; it shone in the small light cast by the light bulb overhead. Gaara looked at that instead and saw a razor sharp knife lying beside a banzai tree pot. He supposed someone had been trimming the banzai tree before and had forgotten the knife lying beside it. Gaara reached out and grabbed the knife handle, looking at its metallic shine, through the plant grime; Gaara could see his face reflected in it. His sad rimmed eyes looked out at him, reminding the boy of how much he wanted to die. Without so much as a second thought, Gaara plunged the blade at his wrist, intent on cutting the arteries, but sand exploded around it, protecting his flesh from the blade's razor edge. Gaara frowned and tried again, plunging this time harder this time but to no avail.

"It's no use…the sand interferes every time…" Gaara murmured.

"Gaara-sama," A voice from behind said quietly. Gaara spun around, still clutching the blade.

"Yashamaru!" Gaara exclaimed slightly startled, he'd forgotten there was someone else in the house. He looked guiltily at his uncle clenching his fist around the handle of the blade.

Yashamaru walked towards Gaara, his eyes sad as he looked down at his nephew, who was still holding onto the blade.

"You know, I was ordered by the Kazekage-sama to be your caretaker when you were born." He said stopping in front of Gaara, who looked away. "I'm to keep an eye on you and your health, but most of all I'm supposed to protect you." He gestured at the knife in Gaara's hand and looked at Gaara with a sympathetic look. "So please don't do such things in front of me."

Gaara looked at the ground, his shoulders slumped and his face fell. He wanted to cry but he knew that it was pointless to do so in front of his uncle.

However Yashamaru smiled genuinely at him and rubbed the back of his head. "But then again I guess the sand will protect you, so I don't need to worry too much eh?" Gaara glanced up to see his caretaker smiling down at him, but Gaara didn't look at his face, he was staring at the bandages around his head and arms. He stared at them for a while before resuming his glare at the purple carpet.

"Yashamaru…I'm sorry." Gaara said quietly, still looking at the carpet. Yashamaru's eyes widened, his smile continued to grow.

"What? This? Oh don't worry it's just a scratch." Yashamaru assured him, patting the bandages on his head; Gaara continued to stare at the carpet for a long time. Yashamaru continued to stare at Gaara. He could see the hurt in the boy's eyes, the pain and anger bubbling just below the surface, the struggle to keep it all back. Yashamaru grimaced internally, but kept his well worn mask of sympathy on tightly.

"Do…do wounds hurt?" Gaara asked all of a sudden, he looked intently up at his stunned uncle, wanting an answer to the question that had always burned him. Yashamaru stared down at his nephew, nonplused. What was this all of a sudden?

"Well, just a little, it heals quickly though." Yashamaru explained Gaara looked the bandages around his uncle's arm and head, feeling his stomach drop even further. Yashamaru was the only person who had ever shown him any form of kindness... and he had hurt him.

A long silence followed Yashamaru's words, in that space of time wind whistled and threw sand at the heavy windows, hammering them, attempting to get in.

"Hey… Yashamaru…" Gaara said breaking the silence, now that he was here he was determined to ask Yashamaru everything, while his father was gone that was.

"Yes?"

"What…What does pain feel like?" Gaara asked quietly. Yashamaru blinked and his smile fell away.

"What's this all of a sudden?" Yashamaru asked him, Gaara looked down at the hand he had been trying to stab. He raised it slightly so that he could see it clearly.

"I…I've never been hurt before…" Gaara said quietly still staring down at his wrist. "So… so I was wondering… how it felt…Kankuro looked hurt when father slapped him… and… and Temari looked like she was hurting when father hit him… but she hadn't been hurt… so I was wondering… what it felt like…"

Yashamaru stared down at Gaara for a moment, wondering how on earth he was supposed to explain pain to the small boy looking up at him with such obvious pain in his eyes. Yashamaru tapped his chin and looked at the corner for a moment, trying to think of how to answer.

"How should I explain this… umm…?" Yashamaru began. "It's painful and unbearable… Like when a person is stabbed or cut, they become ill at ease and they won't be able to think properly. I'm sorry, I can't explain it properly but to be simple, it's not a very good state to be in." He finished rather lamely. Gaara's lip trembled, he wasn't sure if he was listening to Yashamaru's words or not, all he could see was the bandage around his uncle's arm as he continued to scratch his head. He knew that if what his uncle said was true, then the simple matter was that Gaara had put his uncle into a situation where he was very uncomfortable, and … and possibly he hated him for it. Yashamaru saw the look of distress on his charge's face and felt rather helpless. "Yeah?"

"Then… then you hate me too…Yashamaru?" Gaara asked looking away again, and once again Yashamaru saw the doors close on Gaara's face, he was pulling himself back into the depths of himself, forcing his anger backwards so that he would be able to understand what his uncle was about to say, but in a way that would not hurt him. Yashamaru felt a pang as he heard these words, how was he supposed to answer? He stared at Gaara for a long time, not knowing what to say or do. Gaara closed his eyes as though he had been expecting this answer, and that his uncle's silence was answer enough.

"_**See? They do hate you, you were always hated!"**_ The Shukaku's voice ran inside of his head, making Gaara certain he was about to cry. He felt his body shake as he attempted to hold back his tears._** "I'm the only one who understand you, come to me and—" **_

"People hurt each other, and will inevitably get injured during their life," Yashamaru cut through the Shukaku's words. Gaara looked up, his heart skipped a beat. "But it's difficult to hate one another." Gaara's heart elated, he could have flown to the moon he was so happy. His face lit up and a smile fell upon his face.

"Thank you Yashamaru!" Gaara exclaimed with jollity. "And I think I understand what hurting is now."

"Oh yeah?" Yashamaru said a little confused, not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Yeah, I think that I may be injured too, just like everyone else…"Gaara said quietly. Yashamaru's brow furrowed as Gaara put the hand still clutching the knife, up to his chest, right over his heart. "Yeah… I always hurt, right here… But I don't understand… I'm not bleeding, but my chest is really, really hurting here." The boy's hand squeezed and his eyes clouded over with pain as he did so. Yashamaru's eyes softened as Gaara pointed out the source of his distress.

Yashamaru walked closer to Gaara and knelt down to his level, Gaara watched him with wide eyes as his uncle took the knife right out of his hand. He held out his own hand and sliced his middle finger open at the tip. Gaara gasped, his eyes widening as red blood dripped out of the wound. The boy frowned, unable to understand what had just happened. Why had his uncle just done that? Did he say that it was an unwanted feeling to be hurt?

"This is a flesh wound, they bleed see?" Yashamaru told Gaara in a soft voice. "They may seem painful…But after a while, the pain goes away, and if you use some medicine, the wounds will heal quite quickly. However, the wounds that are difficult to heal are the ones in your heart. Those ones are very hard to heal indeed."

"A… A wound in your heart?" Gaara asked confused. Yashamaru nodded patiently.

"Wounds of the heart are different from flesh wounds. You see, unlike flesh wounds, there isn't a medicine to heal it, and sometimes, they don't heal at all." Gaara's eyes narrowed and he clutched his chest where the pain was coming from; his heart seemed to clench even more at this news. Would he ever be rid of this horrible source of pain? "However there is something that can heal wounds of the heart." Gaara looked up hopefully, staring into his uncle's eyes. "But it's an irksome remedy; you can only get it from someone else."

"What is it? How can I get rid of this horrible pain?" Gaara asked urgently, eager to understand. He noticed now, that his uncle was not looking at him anymore, but at the picture of his mother, sitting in front of the banzai plant.

"The only thing that can heal the wound of the heart is love." Yashamaru said looking back at Gaara.

"Love? What's that?" Gaara asked still confused.

"That's right."

"How do I get that? And where do I get it from? How do I get rid of this pain?"

"Gaara-sama, you've already received it." Yashamaru said smiling warmly at his charge. Something like hot water seemed to slip from down Gaara's throat, down to his toes, releasing some of the pressure that had been exerted on his heart.

"Huh?" was what came out of Gaara's mouth, not so much that he meant the question, but more from the reaction of the sensation that had just flew through him. Yashamaru smiled and looked back at the photograph of Gaara's mother.

"You see Gaara-sama; love is the spirit of dedicating yourself to somebody who is close to you, someone who you feel warmth towards." Yashamaru explained to the befuddled boy. "This feeling is expressed by caring and protecting that special person. Just as my sister did for you. You see, I think that my sister always loved you Gaara-sama. Shukaku of the Sand is a soul that is usually used for warring reasons. And yet the sand protects you rather than just attacks for you. I believe that my sister lives on in the sand, and is determined to protect you because she loves for you. She wouldn't stop for even death to ensure that you were safe and protected from the harm she knew would come from being Sauna's weapon."

Another silence followed these words, Gaara began to feel more and more pressure release his heart, and his mind became a little less clouded. A smile, faint but there was definitely a truly happy smile lifting the corners of his lips.

"Yashamaru…" Gaara murmured, unable to find words to express the gratitude he felt towards his uncle.

"Yes?" Yashamaru responded, but he was clearly lost in thought.

"Thank you, for … you know, stopping me from hurting that girl back there…" Gaara said. "And at the dinner table, from seriously injuring my father."

"No problem, it was my pleasure." Yashamaru said with a smile, sticking his bleeding finger in his mouth and sucking off the blood from the wound. "After all, you're a person who is important to me after all. I can't let you hurt other people; it only hurts you as well."

Gaara felt all the clouds in his mind vanish, his heat felt as though most of the pressure was released, his smile broadened, and a tentative look came over his face.

"_**Don't believe him, he's lying to you! He hates you, they all hate you!" **_The Shukaku's voice rang in his ears, but this time it was more distant, he could push it back with ease. Yashamaru cared about him! That was all that mattered, even with one person to care about him, he could get through life! And the look on his uncle's face was enough evidence for him to believe him. A sudden urge came over Gaara, an urge to help his uncle, he wanted protect him too.

Gaara walked over to Yashamaru and took his wrist, Yashamaru stared at him and fought back for a moment, but Gaara stared at the wound, still bleeding slowly from the tip.

"_Yashamaru I promise I'll protect you too." _ Gaara assured his uncle silently, and stuck the bleeding finger in his mouth, trying to rid his uncle of the pain, by pulling out the offending blood. As he sucked on the finger he looked up, and saw with a jolt, a look in his uncle's eyes that made his skin crawl. Such sadness, such pain… Gaara had often seen it in his own mirror. Yashamaru stared at Gaara for a long time before Gaara relinquished his uncle's finger.

"It tastes like metal." Gaara told his uncle who smiled slightly and nodded. A whistling noise brought the two of them back to reality.

"Oh, that'll be the tea." Yashamaru said straightening up, he ruffled Gaara's hair and began to walk over to the kitchen. Gaara followed happily, running to keep up with his uncle's much longer legs, Yashamaru looked over his shoulder and saw the picture of his beloved sister, slowly getting further and further away from him. And he saw his nephew, small, and suddenly, his normally pained eyes looked lightened and happy, he was getting closer and closer.

Something happened to Yashamaru as he saw the scene behind him unfold. Something snapped, and suddenly, he no longer felt any feelings towards his nephew at all. Not even the slightest bit of warmth… All that was left when he looked at his nephew's smiling face was cold bitter hatred.

And Gaara was none the wiser…

"Yashamaru?" Gaara was sitting on his cushion, holding his cup of green tea in front of him with slight distaste, he didn't like tea, but just now it felt good on his throat and on his mind, the hot liquid seemed to sooth him somehow.

"Hmm?" Yashamaru asked he was busy bustling in the drawers searching for yet another band aid to cover his still bleeding finger.

"What kinds of medicines work best on cuts and bruises?" Gaara asked, sitting up a little straighter and staring at his uncle with determination. Yashamaru paused in picking up a small roll of bandage tape. He looked at Gaara with an odd expression. "I mean…" Gaara blushed, a look of pure innocence coming over his face. "That girl I hurt earlier, I feel bad… you know about hurting her. I want to give her some medicine; you know to help heal her wounds." Yashamaru smiled at Gaara, he walked over to his nephew and ruffled his hair, bending lower to look him in the eyes.

"You are a very kind child Gaara-sama." Yashamaru told him, Gaara beamed, feeling his heart lighten once again. He had not called him a _monster_, a _thing_ or _it_! Yashamaru had called him a child! Yashamaru dug in his pocket and pulled out a small tub of ointment, it carried a soft whiff of mint. "Here you go; you can give it to her tonight if you wish to Gaara-sama. I'm sure she'll appreciate it." Gaara took the ointment, but his face fell as he looked at it.

"She won't appreciate it… she'll just call me a monster and hate me even more…" Gaara mumbled. "Even if I try to help people, they don't like it." Gaara felt Yashamaru petting his hair gently, Gaara looked up. Yashamaru was looking at him with eyes that made Gaara feel safe.

"Gaara-sama just give it a chance, I'm sure she'll be grateful for it, even if she doesn't like who's given it to her, you might get a chance to soften her heart towards you a little bit." Yashamaru said wisely. Gaara looked at the dregs of his tea sitting on the kotatsu table. "Gaara-sama, just give it a try." Gaara looked up at Yashamaru and nodded excitedly.

"I think I'll go do it now!" Gaara exclaimed elatedly, he actually jumped up from the table, the ointment clutched in his hands as though it were a kunai knife. "I'll go and tell her that she should take the medicine because it'll make her feel better."

"That's the spirit." Yashamaru told his nephew, getting to his own feet. He quickly wrapped his middle finger in white bandage tape and then hurried over to the cupboard to grab a paper bag and handed it to Gaara. "You can put it in there so you don't have to lug that around all over the place."

"Arigato Yashamaru!" Gaara said happily taking the bag from his uncle and stuffing the tub of medicinal cream into it with force. "I'm leaving now; I'll be home a little late ok?"

"Be careful," Yashamaru called after Gaara who had already raced to the door. "It's a full moon tonight; you have to be extra cautious."

"I know! I'll work extra hard to restrain it I promise!" Gaara assured his uncle before opening the sliding door and running out into the warm and dusty desert night air.

Yashamaru's smile fell and turned into a frown.

"Kazekage-sama, Rena-chan, what are you doing home so early?" Yashamaru asked quietly, being a Chunin himself, he knew when somebody was right behind them, let alone two people.

"Why do you lead him on so Yashamaru?" Rena's voice asked quietly. Yashamaru closed his eyes.

"He needs to believe in somebody doesn't he?" Yashamaru said in an even quieter voice than Rena. "He is my nephew after all."

"He has no need for any emotions." The Kazekage snapped, coming up behind Yashamaru and placing a hand on his brother-in-law's shoulder. "He only has need for hate and bloodlust, as I've told you before. That's the only way he's useful." Yashamaru didn't answer. The Kazekage drove in, making certain to force the man to bend to his will, as he always had. "He did kill her after all. She hated him, you heard her. She hated him, she wanted him dead." Yashamaru still did not answer, the Kazekage pressed on. "The council has some interesting news on how you obtained those injuries."

Yashamaru bristled; he had told the Kazekage that he had been attacked by a vicious dog on his way to pick up Gaara from the academy, he heard Rena tense behind him and knew something bad was about to happen. The Kazekage let go of his shoulder and walked around to face him.

"Yashamaru, the council has deemed Gaara to be a reckless mess, a failed experiment if you will." The Kazekage elaborated. "Gaara is frequently killing off anyone who annoys him. It's getting out of hand! The little monster is too dangerous to keep around; we've decided to get rid of the problem. Do you have any objections?" Yashamaru didn't say anything, he felt too shocked at this statement to say anything at all!

"But Kazekage-sama he's your—" Rena began, the Kazekage spun around to look at her.

"That freak is no son of mine! He's not even a child; it's just a monster that needs to be slaughtered before it kills anything else!" The Kazekage screamed spittle flying from his mouth, his eyes furious. Rena stood there quietly, her eyes brimming with tears at this proclamation. "We have an ANBU squad ready to kill him at my order. Now, I will go give them the order, so if you—"

"I'll do it." Yashamaru interrupted. Rena and the Kazekage both turned to look at Yashamaru with incredulity. "I'll kill him myself."

"Yashamaru!" Rena exclaimed.

"If I don't succeed at least I'll have driven him into a corner, he'll be all yours Kazekage-sama." Yashamaru bowed low to the Kazekage, he smirked and nodded.

"Very well Yashamaru, I give you permission to kill that demon."

"Hai." Yashamaru straightened and turned to Rena, who was standing there, her mouth agape, her face full of horror.

"You-You can't! Not after what you just told him!" Rena exclaimed in horror. Yashamaru placed his hands on her shoulders.

"I don't expect to come back after this Rena, I just want to let you know that I've always appreciated your help, and I think you're an amazing person." Yashamaru said quietly, Rena's tears spilled over.

"Don't do it Yashamaru… please don't, for his sake." Rena begged, grabbing onto Yashamaru's forearms.

"He killed my sister, now I finally have a chance to avenge my dear nee-san." Yashamaru explained glumly. "Please understand Rena." Rena shook her head and stepped away from Yashamaru as though he were the monster. Yashamaru's eyes were very depressed at Rena's actions and words, but he had to do it. For his sister.

"Well then Yashamaru; let's get this over with then." The Kazekage urged, putting a hand on Yashamaru's shoulder again. "Go complete your mission."

"Ous." And without another word Yashamaru turned and ran out the door, preparing to kill the one whom he had just said "I love you"

_**The Lies**_

Gaara's sandaled feet pounded into the deserted sandy streets between the sandstone houses. His coat flapping in the dry, cool breeze, also causing sand to be whipped around his feet like snakes sliding over the grass. The street lights cast the navy blue darkness aside, causing Gaara's shadow to be oddly distorted and move in all different directions at once. Gaara clutched the brown paper bag of medicine tightly to his chest, a nervous smile slipping across his lips as the excitement of what he was about to do filled his chest. Drinking dens roared with laughter and jeers at this time of night, Gaara caught sentences of vulgar language and drunken songs as he rushed past them. He knew where the girl lived only because his father often went there, her father was a council member with quite a bit of influence.

As he turned the corner to the big sandstone house, his heart dropped a couple notches, and he came to a halt, panting slightly from his short jog. The house was quite large with an impressive wooden doorway with railings and pillars; it looked, to the small Gaara, quite intimidating. He stood there, staring up at the door, his heart drumming a light note against his chest.

Maybe… maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all… what if she rejected him? What if she hated him like everyone else? Maybe she would scream and run away like most other children did when they saw him… Gaara looked down at his brown sandaled feet, feeling anxious. Part of him wanted to walk up there and knock on the door and give her the medicine, the other part, most likely the Shukaku part, wanted to go in there and kill her for making such a big fuss over a lousy little cut, and the last part of him just wanted to turn around and go home.

**"**_**She's going to hate you! She's going to slam the door in your face!"** _The Shukaku's voice sounded in his ears.

"That's ok, as long as I have Yashamaru, I'm good." Gaara said quietly, out loud this time, because he needed to hear it for himself. "As long as somebody in this world cares, I can stand the rest of them."

**"**_**You're making a mistake."** _ The Shukaku pressed on. But Gaara ignored it, instead he mustered up the little courage he had and walked up the steps to the great big wood door. His heart hammered harshly against his chest, hoping against hope, that she would accept the medicine.

He knocked twice. The sound seemed to echo in the empty streets, merely adding to Gaara's fearful tension. After about a minute, the door slowly slid open. The girl he had injured appeared there, she had long brown hair pulled back into a pony tail, her tanned face was covered in scratches, bruises and deep cuts, there were bandages over the really nasty ones, but the small ones were plain on her face to see. When she saw who it was standing on her doorstep, her eyes grew wide and a small gasp of fear escaped her throat. Gaara's own throat constricted.

"I-I'm really sorry about this morning…" Gaara apologized to her quickly; she still stared at him with the same terrified expression. However Gaara was determined, he pressed on. "It hurt right? I-I… here, this is some medicine, you can use it if you want to… my uncle says that it's really—"

"Go home you monster!" The girl screamed, her eyes blazing with the utmost loathing, before she slammed the door shut in Gaara's face.

Gaara stood there, the medicine still extended in his hands. He shook uncontrollably, his body quivering with wretchedness.

**"**_**Did you hear that? 'Go home monster!' Didn't I tell you that's what she would say? I told you she hated you!"** _ The Shukaku's voice rang inside of Gaara's ears. _**"That's all you are, that's all you will ever be… a monster… an evil monster doomed to misery." **_

Gaara dropped the bag on the doorstep, his body positively quivering. He would not listen to the monster inside of him! He would not! She was scared of him because he attacked her of course… but… those eyes… those eyes had looked at him with such a deep loathing that it had caused Gaara to feel his heart once again feel as though the clamp was being put back onto it, slowly tightening with every step he took down the sandy road.

He had come back onto the road where the drinking dens were, it was only nine o'clock, but there was a man wandering outside one of the dens, his movements reminded Gaara of a wet rice noodle. He was obviously drunk. A bottle of sake was clutched in his hand as he swayed back and forth, talking to himself and looking quite ridiculous. Gaara kept walking, ignoring the man; he was too busy trying to keep the Shukaku's roaring voice from taking over his consciousness to notice the man was walking straight towards him.

The drunk walked straight into Gaara, bumping his shoulder against Gaara's shoulder, the man spun around.

"What-hic- in the...!" the drunk exclaimed in a ridiculous voice thick with alcohol. "Hey watch where you're going you stupid kid!" Gaara turned his face slightly to look at the drunk. The inebriated took one look at Gaara's ringed eyes, red hair and pale complexion before, even through his drunken stupor, his eyes widened in fear, his face's features darkened. "Hey… hey you're… you're that monster!"

Gaara's will power broke as he looked at the man's face. It was the same as the girl's.

"_That thing is no son of mine; the only thing he's able to do is kill!"_

"_Go home you monster!"_

"_You're that monster!_

Again… again! Those eyes… that face… all of them full of hatred and fear… why…why did it always happen to him? WHY?! The Shukaku roared its approval and pushed itself out of Gaara's restraining grasp. Sand leapt up all around Gaara and rushed at the drunk, curling around his legs, hips, torso and finally his face. The silence of the night was punctuated by a blood curdling scream as the man was squished into a million tiny pieces. The sake bottle fell to the ground and smashed, spilling its intoxicating contents all over the ground, mixing with the blood that had spilled all over the sandy road…

Gaara turned, and kept walking. His blood pumping, his head throbbing, the taste of blood on his lips, his demon was excited, and it was the hardest thing to keep it from killing the other people who had rushed out of the drinking dens to see what the commotion had been about.

"What happened?"

"Hey, he's dead!"

"It's Gaara! He did it!"

"There he goes!"

"Stay back or he might kill you too!"

Gaara walked onward, his blood pumping, the sound of the frighten villagers pleas ringing in his ears like drums, with each heartbeat, his heart was squeezed just a little bit harder.

The little boy walked onwards, trying to ignore the frightened voices and chastising bellows of the civilians of Sauna. Gaara walked on for what seemed like hours, but in reality it was only ten minutes, before he was aware of where he was in the village. He was beside one of the cleanest drinking dens in the village, and who should be standing outside the door, leaning up against the pillar, but his father.

Gaara stopped and looked up at his father, he look down at his son with such hatred and disgust that he made Gaara cast his eyes back down at the floor.

"Gaara did you just kill that man?" his father demanded in a soft and deadly voice. Gaara nodded. His father leaned down and forced Gaara look him in the eyes. "I swear boy, I will kill you if you keep doing these things. Get a hold of yourself or I will get a hold of your scrawny neck and strangle you for all your worth!" Gaara's eyes suddenly darkened, the Shukaku was creeping up on him again.

**"**_**Kill him now boy! End your misery! Rip out his throat and let me lap up the leftovers!"** _Gaara yanked his face out of his father's hold and kept walking, not looking back at his father as he continued to walk down the dark streets. Why was it he didn't let the Shukaku have his way with this man? Was it that he was blood related? Or was it that if he did kill him, then, in his own way, his father would have won…

After a long, long time of wandering the streets aimlessly, his feet finally carried him to his favorite haunt. The roof of the Kazekage mansion, it was the one place where nobody would even think of looking for him. Gaara walked up to the railing that ran around the perimeter of the roof, he sat on the railing, looking out over the village, the wind caressing his hair gently as the full moon threw his body into a soft glowing light.

"It didn't go well…" Gaara murmured to his trembling hands, "I was only trying to help…" Gaara began to cry, small tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes and falling like rain onto his hands. He covered his face with his hands sobbing into his palms. "Why am I the only one who's a monster?" Gaara sobbed. "What am I? Why am I always suffering? Why am I always alone?"

**"**_**I told you, I warned you didn't I?"**_ The Shukaku's voice snarled in his head. _**"That two faced Yashamaru is just a liar and a sneak! He's only trying to win your trust so he can jump at you on the last second!" **_

"N-no! He wouldn't he won't!" Gaara sniffled. "H-he told me that he l-loved me!" His chest burned and he grabbed onto the place where his heart was, squeezing where the immense pain was gathering. He sat there and cried, fighting the pain in his chest and the screaming demon in his head. He had to believe that someone loved him, he had to believe that someone one cared, if he didn't then…

WHOOSH! Clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang! Gaara's eyes widened as his sand shield erupted all around him, covering him from head to toe from behind. The sound of six kunai hitting the shield resonated through the air. Gaara sat there shocked and disoriented out of his depressed daze.

"What?" Gaara was afraid to look around, afraid of what he would see. But he turned around looking for the source of the kunai attack. Behind him, about fifteen yards away, was a masked ninja with a sand headband, and hovering in mid air before the masked ninja, as though attached by strings, were nine more kunai. "Why?"

**"**_**Why are you the only one who has to deal with these sorts of things?"**_ The Shukaku egged his rage onwards, driving it to destroy his will once more. And as he did so, Gaara's thoughts shifted, his face became that of the murdering monster that people ran from, his eyes became so deepened by hate that the ninja before him took one step back.

Gaara got up from the railing, turning to stand and face his opponent, the sand shield still flowing around him like a blanket. The man raised his hands and the kunai's all flew at Gaara with incredible speed. Gaara didn't even so much as flinch, the sand shield swirled around to catch all nine kunai in its grasp, not only keeping him from harms way, but showing that Gaara was no one to be messing with. The shield saved him with ease and Gaara didn't even lift so much as a finger.

Gaara pushed the shield out of the way reached out a hand with a roar, pushing the sand towards his enemy; the sand seemed to scream as it wound its way towards the opposing ninja, who attempted in vain to dodge the fatal attack. It incased his body in seconds, lifting him high above the ground as Gaara raised his arm, the man struggled attempting to get out of the sand's hold but it was useless. The boy pulled his hand back slightly and clenched his fist to form his deadliest attack. Sabaku Su. Desert Coffin. Gaara's fathomless eyes had absolutely no pity in them what-so-ever…

The man's body was squeezed so violently that his insides spilled out of tears in his flesh, blood splattering the floor and walls. However Gaara had not completed the attack, wanting to unveil his attacker meant that he needed a face. Preferably one that was not totally mutilated. The man's body dropped the ground with a sickening crunch, he lay sprawled on the ground, his limbs splayed, his head lolled to one side. Gaara stood, trembling, now that his demon was satisfied with the spilling of blood; he had left Gaara quite alone to his own feelings of panic at what he had done.

"Who are you? What did you attack me for?" Gaara's shaky voice demanded. The man, obviously, did not reply, but Gaara could see quite clearly that this man was not dead. His chest was falling and rising in a breathing pattern. Suddenly Gaara saw something on the man's bloody hand that made his stomach flip flop and then drop several feet beneath him.

The man's right hand, the top of his middle finger, was covered in white bandage tape. Gaara's heart began to thunder in his chest as he slowly walked towards the man. He gulped. Surely it wasn't, it couldn't be… it just couldn't be!

Gaara slowly walked forwards and, with a tremulous fingers, his heart hammering so hard that he was certain that it was about to break out of his rib cage, he grasped the man's white mask, and yanked it off of his face…

Gaara's brain froze over, his heart stopped beating, his stomach churned so horribly that he was certain he was going to wretch.

Yashamaru lay on the ground before him, a bleeding mass of dying flesh. His dark purple eyes looked up at Gaara and he smiled his fake smile that Gaara had not noticed until now, that it had been the only kind of smile Yashamaru had ever given him.

"Nice-nicely done… Gaara-sama…" Yashamaru whispered.

Gaara's entire world exploded before him, he felt as though he was falling into a pit of despair. His heart had surely been slit by one of those kunai! He dropped to one knee, one hand over his head, pulling at his hair, the other attempting to yank his heart out of its place in his chest. He let lose a blood curdling scream, one that was full of pain, anger and betrayal. Sand exploded all around Gaara, slowly swirling around him like a mini whirl wind, attempting to protect him from the pain that had slashed through his heart like a katana.

On all fours he had collapsed beside Yashamaru, tears pouring out his eyes like a torrent. He felt as though his brain was seizing up, he couldn't feel anything but the horrible sensation in his body. He clutched his head and pushed his forehead into the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.

Yashamaru couldn't, he had said that he loved him; he had promised that he would protect him! He wouldn't try to kill him! Would he?

Yashamaru sputtered, spitting blood out of his mouth as he watched his nephew collapse into a sobbing heap beside him. Minutes went by, at least five before Gaara asked, without looking up. "Why… why… W-why d-did yo-you do t-this?" Gaara raised his puffy eyed face, tears spilling down them without any particular root to look at his uncle, straight in the eyes. "Why?" Yashamaru's words about his mother's undying love for him, about healing, about love in general bounced around in his head, trying to persuade him that Yashamaru was not lying, that there was some reason behind why had just attempted to kill him mere hours after he had told him he loved him! Gaara rubbed his eyes with his hands, trying to rid the pictures before his eyes, the girl, the drunk, his father... And now Yashamaru… "Y-you… y-you said… I thought, *hic*, that you w-were…"

"It was an order." Yashamaru panted. Gaara's trembling continued, but he kept his whimpering to a minimum, Yashamaru had been ordered! He had not done this of his own accord! "I was… I was ordered to assassinate you Gaara-sama…by… by your father… Kazekage-sama."

Gaara's eyes began to leak again, his insides seemed to have turned into ash… he had always known that his father hated him. His father had always threatened to kill him… but to actually attempt it was something very new, and something very horrifying to Gaara. He thought of how his father had once bought him a teddy bear… and his stomach seemed to flop over so much that Gaara actually turned and vomited beside him.

"F-father… f-father..." Gaara's horrified mouth seemed to have forgotten how to speak. He wiped the bile from his mouth and felt a small strand of saliva fall from his lips as well. He felt as though he could vomit again. "W-why me?… w-w-why me?" There was now a puddle on the floor in front of Gaara where he had cried so much. Yashamaru continued to gaze up at the moon, his eyes fixated on it as though there was something very valuable and very interesting up there.

"When you were born, the Shukaku of the sand was incarnated into you," Yashamaru explained. "You were born a weapon to the sand, and were observed like a lab rat Gaara-sama… I don't think you realized how much you actually were watched. But you couldn't control the Shukaku…its will is too great for you to handle. You couldn't use the sand on your own… your existence was proven dangerous to the village."

Gaara sat there motionless, his heart hammered with every word, each one bringing on a new stab of pain to his heart and brain. Sitting on all fours, he felt and saw one line of hope in the crashing waves of despair.

"Th-then y-you… you were o-ordered to do this Ya-Yashamaru? You did this un-unwillingly ri-right? F-father made you do it?" Gaara said hopefully, reaching for the line of hope.

"No… I chose to do this mission." Yashamaru cut the line of hope with these words; Gaara's heart was again slashed through with the force of a katana stabbing down. He felt all hope spin down under him, all his despair and terror was sucking him in like a giant sink. What he felt, was beyond tears, he just sat there, hunched over and staring at his uncle, unable to believe what he was hearing. "I did get the offer from the Kazekage, but I chose to do this, I could have refused…

"Gaara-sama… deep within me, I hated you! You took away my beloved sister when you were born. I tried to think of you and love you as her beloved child, I really did. I tried and tried for years, but I knew… deep within me, that I couldn't! Because my sister didn't want you to be born. She was the village's sacrifice. She died cursing this village with all of her soul and strength. You see, I carried with me a wound that would never heal, a wound of the heart so deep and so vicious that no matter what I did, no matter how much time passed, it never healed!"

Gaara sat there simply staring at his uncle, unable to believe what he was hearing… he clutched his heart so tightly that he could feel his fingers slowly being surrounded by sand so as not to puncture the skin.

"My sister gave you your name… 'this child's name is Gaara, one that loves only himself, fights for only himself, by doing so he can continue to go on existing.' My sister didn't give you the name because she loved you or wanted the best for you; she gave you that name so that you could be cursed with the drive to exist! The sand protects you so that you can kill the one that attacked you! She hated the village so much that she cursed you so that you could continue in her hate and destroy everything in your path!

In Gaara's mind, he suddenly saw an ocean of sand, with a woman and a baby, the woman was holding the baby, clutching him to her chest wind blowing their cloaks around in a torrent. Gaara knew instinctively that this was his mother and himself in baby form. Gaara walked towards his mother, reaching out to her in excitement, but then he saw that the two people were made of sand. He gasped and fell backwards, yanking his hand back to clasp the cape to his chest as the hood fell back to let his hair flow freely in the breeze. The two sand people looked at him with blank, uncaring eyes, and the wind began to pick up. The two people began to be blown away, just like the rest of the sand in the desert... Gaara reached out and clutched at the sand flying away, desperately trying to keep it together, but he failed, again and again. The two sand people drifted away towards the blood red moon peaking over the horizon. Gaara cried and fell onto his front, sobbing and beating the sand with his fists. His last hope had just drifted away on the wind...

"You were never loved." Those words cut the last of Gaara in half. He felt it happen slowly; he felt something happen in his mind. At the same time, his retinas were picking up what Yashamaru's fingers were doing. He had lifted his hand to unzip his jacket and reveal to Gaara that his entire torso was covered in exploding notes!

"Please… just die." Yashamaru murmured. Gaara sat there, letting it happen, hoping that the explosion would take him with his uncle and kill him.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

The explosion was so loud and so forceful that two figures below fell over as they walked by the Kazekage's mansion.

Temari and Kankuro stood at the front doors; they both toppled over and as they did saw the brown smoke coiling up into the clouds.

"What in the world was that?" Kankuro demanded getting to his feet and helping his sister to hers.

"An explosion dummy." Temari snapped. "What happened?"

"Let's go look!" Kankuro said excitedly, Temari nodded and raced after her brother to the stairs inside the building.

Meanwhile back on the rooftop, Gaara was safe behind a huge barrier of sand that had leapt up and sheltered him easily. Gaara sat curled up in the center of the dome, his legs curled up against his chest, his arms pressed against his ears, trying to stop the pictures and voices in his head. He sniffled and sobbed his clothes damp from Yashamaru's blood, his tears and perspiration.

**"**_**What I tell you? He was a two faced, lying backstabber! Didn't I tell you? Didn't I?"** _ Shukaku, who had been silent the entire time, announced smugly. Gaara didn't answer; he didn't want to be because he knew that the demon had been right about everything. _**"What did he say again? Oh yeah, 'I think my sister always loved you Gaara-sama' pfft! I was there wasn't I? I heard her cursing you, I heard the curse she slapped on you face! She despised you, she wanted you dead! I told you, but you didn't listen to me! What was the other one? 'You are the one that is precious to me?' well how did that turn out?"**_ Gaara covered his head again, pulling out locks of hair. Sadness engulfed him and the sand barrier collapsed as his sanity began to crack under the Shukaku's will, under the pressure that Yashamaru had finalized. Gaara fell to his forearms and knees once again, screaming out in a moan that was so painful that it cut those that heard it. It was a moan of total loss, complete loneliness and one that was not used often.

**"**_**To think that you actually believed him that the sand protects you because of love? How stupid. There's no such thing as love, you can never be loved, everyone hates you, and everyone despises you! Yeah your mom's in the sand, her curse and hate is in that sand!"** _ Gaara clawed at the ground, feeling his sand barrier beneath his fingers as he tried in vain for anyway of releasing some of the pain in his heart.

**"**_**EVERYONE HATES YOU!"**_

"AHHHHHH!" Gaara screams continued.

**"**_**YOU WERE NEVER LOVED AND YOU NEVER WILL BE LOVED!" **_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

**"**_**YOU ARE A MONSTER!"**_

That was it. The Shukaku had succeeded after all these years. Gaara's entire will snapped and then smashed into a million pieces, his sanity not only bent, but also snapped. Gaara stopped crying, the Shukaku took over completely. It forced the sand upwards and spun it around in front of him until it built up enough momentum to carve a reminder into Gaara's forehead. Gaara's scream became even more insane as he forced his sand to carve the 'ai' symbol into his forehead.

The sand froze as Gaara stopped screaming. He stood up, his entire body heaving as he panted for breath, his forehead bleeding horribly into his left eye, but miraculously, Gaara felt no pain. The physical pain was overshadowed by the war that had just ended in Gaara's head. The sand slowly fell to the ground once more with a soft hiss as it hit the concrete floor underneath him.

**"**_**Love only yourself."** _The Shukaku said very clearly.

"Love only myself." Gaara repeated.

**"**_**Fight for only yourself." **_

"Fight for only myself."

**"**_**For that is what Gaara is, you're alone."**_

"I finally understand, I am alone…Temari… Kankuro… Father… Rena… they're nothing… they're meaningless! I will never again believe in anyone, love anyone or open myself to anyone ever again! I am alone!"

A maniacal chuckle escaped the young boy's lips as he stepped up to the railing that he had been sitting on moments before, and let loose Shukaku's first real roar in a long time! It shook the village's very foundation so that all the windows in the surrounding area burst and smashed outwards, making it appear that it was raining.

Gaara looked up at the sky, the moon shone like a pearl in the sea. Blood ran into his eyes from the ai symbol on his forehead. An insane grin lit his face before he fell to his knees and collapsed.

Temari froze, her foot on the last step. She'd heard the crying the sobbing and the screaming for release. Kankuro walked right into her and stumbled slightly backwards.

"Temari! What the heck are you…" his voice drifted off as he saw the look on his older sister's face. "What's wrong?"

"I…" Temari began and looked back at Kankuro, her face stricken. "I think that was Gaara's voice…" Kankuro stared at her perplexed.

"Gaara?" Kankuro repeated. "But he was with Yashamaru-ojisan back at the house. Wasn't he?"

"He could have left."

"But why would he be crying?"

"That's why I'm worried."

Out of the blue, a roar that shook Temari and Kankuro's ear drums past their tolerance. Both children slapped their hands over their ears and cried out. Temari slid to the ground holding her ears; Kankuro leaned back against the wall of the stair case, his face screwed up. The roar lasted for ten whole seconds, by then both children's ears had begun to bleed slightly. Their eyes had gone slightly cross from the vibrations the whole thing had caused.

"Holy…" Kankuro said dazedly.

"I'm sure that it's Gaara now!" Temari said after a moment. "That was Shukaku's roar wasn't it?"

"Yeah…." The siblings looked at one another, then at the door. Both were suddenly terrified. If that was the Shukaku… then that must mean…

Kankuro looked at his sister. "Does that mean that Gaara's lost it?"

Temari chewed on her lip, not taking her eyes off the door.

"If it does then there has to be a valid reason behind it. Gaara's strong; he wouldn't lose it for something petty." Temari reasoned Kankuro narrowed his eyes at the door too.

"What do we do?" Kankuro asked after a few seconds of silence. Temari closed her eyes, and walked up the remaining steps. "Temari wait! We might get killed!" Temari froze her hand on the door knob.

"Kankuro… I… I know that but…" She looked back at Kankuro and he saw that tears had slipped out of her tear ducts. His heart froze for a moment. "He's my little brother… I know that there's only one thing that could have induced that sort of noise from him. And as the older siblings, we have to go and help him!"

"But…" Kankuro's voice trailed off and he nodded savagely to his sister. Temari nodded back and turned to the door, and opened the door.

The scene before them was not appealing. The door and floor before the door was covered in blood, guts and bits of clothing. Someone had obviously exploded… Kankuro turned very green, Temari put a hand on his shoulder and they both went on. Looking around they saw sand covering the entire floor of the roof, it was all slowly pulling itself into a corner on the far side. They both looked at the corner and saw with a gust of horror a bloody lump curled up on the ground.

"Gaara!" Temari rushed over to her little brother, seeing blood flowing from his wound made her horrified, he'd never been injured before so therefore how did… "Gaara! Speak to me brother!" They rolled him over and looked down and saw his face screwed up in pain, his hand closed tightly over his heart, his face covered in blood. He was completely unconscious.

Kankuro bent over Gaara, he checked his little brother's pulse and was semi relieved to feel the steady throb that meant he was still alive. "He's alive." Kankuro confirmed. Temari pulled a handkerchief out from her pocket and whipped his forehead clean of blood to see where the wound had originated from. Both children froze when they revealed his forehead. Temari actually dropped her handkerchief. The ai symbol had been scratched into his head! Carved there as if by a hot poker! Temari felt her stomach drop. What had he done?

"What do we do?" Kankuro asked for the second time that night. Temari, who had not been paying attention to her other brother for a moment felt herself being shaken back to reality.

"We bring him back to the house of course!" Temari told an anxious Kankuro. "You take that arm, I'll take this one."

"It's ok; he barely eats, so I can take him myself!" Kankuro said proudly, sliding an arm under his brother's back and knees to lift him up bridal style. "See!" He lifted Gaara up and smiled at his sister. Temari sighed.

"Ok, but don't complain when we have to go down the stairs again, as I have to remind you, we don't know the wall walk jutsu yet." Temari reminded her sibling.

"Eh?" Kankuro spluttered rushing to catch up to Temari. The three of them made their steady way down the stairs, stopping a few times to switch who ever carried Gaara (for Kankuro had gotten too tired to carry the smaller boy after the first two landings) and to catch their breath.

"Kankuro…" Temari panted after a few minutes, they were on the fifth floor now, having just passed the Kazekage's floor.

"What?" Kankuro wheezed going down one step at a time now, Gaara seemed to be getting heavier by the second.

"I was… wondering," Temari murmured. "Do you think that Yashamaru knows that Gaara got out?"

"Dunno." Kankuro was trying to save his breath.

"Because… you know… he's had a hard week and all and… well."

"Temari, he's a monster you know." Kankuro whispered. "We… can't get too involved with him…" But as he said this he buried his face in Gaara's red hair, and his eyes began to swim slightly. "Father said that he'll kill us if we look at him wrong."

"That's never been the case." Temari whispered. "And you know that as well as I do." Kankuro was silent for a long time.

"I know Temari…but…"

There was another long silence as they both pondered what to do and what to think. Finally after, to Kankuro and Temari, what felt like forever, they reached the ground floor and rushed to the Kazekage's house, Gaara now on Kankuro's back, his red head supported by Kankuro's shoulder. They burst through the kitchen door, startling a puffy eyed Rena.

"Rena-Oji chan!" Temari exclaimed. "Gaara's been injured!" the pot in Rena's hand dropped and fell with a crash to the floor. Her eyes widened to the size of drinking glasses. Kankuro rushed in to present Gaara's bloody face, and pained expression. "He's hurt Rena! He's hurt! What do we do?" Temari seemed to lose the cool she had kept this entire time now that an adult was present.

Rena walked over to Kankuro, not saying a word; she took Gaara from Kankuro's back and held him like a baby. Temari looked at Rena's face and felt her heart sink. Her aunt's face was puffy and red as though she'd been crying, but behind that red puffy exterior, was something so deep that it carved a hole in Temari's heart just looking at it.

It was hate.

And suddenly both Temari and Kankuro knew exactly, why Gaara had unleashed the Shukaku, and exactly who had exploded…

At that moment, the lives of everyone in the vicinity changed forever.


End file.
